Emotional Regulation and Dysregulation Actionable Strategies

Lee-Anne Bloom
Jan 16
4 min read

In this blog post, we’ll cover:

What emotional regulation really is and if your child is struggling with it
How occupational therapists support regulation
What to do during big emotional moments
Tools that help kids (and adults) calm their bodies
How to prevent dysregulation before it starts

What Is Emotional Regulation?

Emotional regulation is the ability to:

Recognize emotions
Understand what’s happening in the body
Manage emotional responses in a way that’s safe and functional

In occupational therapy, we often use frameworks like Zones of Regulation, The Alert Program, The Incredible 5-Point Scale, The Spot, Kimochis, Social Thinking and other social-emotional tools. But the goal is always the same:

👉 Help children notice, name, and know what to do with their feelings.

OT Looks at Emotions Through the Body

From an OT perspective, emotional regulation isn’t just about talking; it’s about doing.

We teach children:

The names of emotions
The body sensations that come with emotions
Facial expressions and body cues
Tools to manage those emotions when they show up

This work often involves collaboration between the child, therapist, parents, teachers, and caregivers.

One of Our Favorite Tools: Books 📚

Books that teach regulation are especially effective for young children.

Try:

Reading social-emotional stories together
Acting out emotions
Using tone of voice to model feelings
Sharing examples from your own life
Asking, “When have you felt this way?”

This builds emotional vocabulary and connection — a foundation for regulation.

How to Approach a Dysregulated Child 🐶

Think about a growling dog.

You wouldn’t yell at it to stop growling. You’d lower yourself, soften your voice, and create safety.

Children’s nervous systems work the same way.

When we meet dysregulation with calm, side-by-side energy (not head-on power struggles), we reduce threat and increase trust.

Validation & Co-Regulation 💞

Kids don’t calm down alone — they calm down with us first.

Helpful tools include:

Getting at eye level
Tilting your head to show compassion
Using a calm, steady voice
Matching their emotional intensity down, not up

This process is called co-regulation — and it builds long-term emotional skills.

Be a Loving Witness 🌱

Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is be present.

Not fixing. Not teaching. Not correcting.

Just holding space for their feelings communicates to your child:

“It’s okay to feel this way.”

Teaching comes later when emotions have settled.

Save Teaching for Calm Moments

Once your child is regulated, then you can reflect together.

A helpful script from Dr. Ross Greene (The Explosive Child):

“I noticed that…” (state what you observed, neutrally)
“What’s up?” (ask with curiosity, not judgment)

Listen. Repeat back what they say. Gather information about triggers and patterns.

Regulate the Body First ⚡

Big emotions create a cortisol spike — and the body needs time to recover.

Helpful strategies:

Movement (walking, stretching, shaking, dancing)
Deep breathing (modeled, not demanded)
Grounding through the senses (5-4-3-2-1 exercise)

Movement is especially powerful — anger often needs an outlet.

Sensory Tools That Help the Body Reset 💧

Different sensory systems can support regulation:

Hydration: Water or electrolytes after stress
Nutrition: Protein + carbs (nuts, toast, fruit, cheese)
Touch: Hugs, weighted blankets, lotion, petting an animal
Temperature: Warm blankets or cool water
Smell: Pleasant scents that encourage deep breathing

And most importantly…

😴 Sleep

Sleep is the #1 protective factor against emotional dysregulation.

Preventing Dysregulation (Not Just Managing It)

Prevention matters.

At home or school, this can look like:

Sensory breaks
Calming corners
Movement options
Visual emotion check-ins
Sensory “menus” (jumping jacks, wall push-ups, puzzles, books)

🚫 Avoid withholding movement as punishment — many kids need more movement to regulate.

Supporting Sensitive Kids 🧭

Key principles:

Know the child — build relationships and provide support
Set loving limits — discipline means to teach
Pair hard things with fun — build motivation to make it fun
1. Use a favorite playlist
2. Use rewards, first [insert hard thing here], then [insert reward here]
Communicate clearly — neutral tone, objective language
1. Let them know what the expectations are: What are the rules? What are the consequences when the rules are broken
Offer choices
1. “Do you want to swing while you practice your multiplication?”
2. “Do you want to use the noise-canceling headphones or go into another room?”
3. "Do you want to use the electric toothbrush or the manual toothbrush?"
Check in often — body awareness matters
1. “How did it feel to swing first before starting your homework?”
2. "It looks like you are frustrated. Do you want to take a sensory break?"

Take care of yourself — your regulation sets the tone
1. What are you doing for self-care as a parent/caregiver? Fill your regulation cup up so that you can give the gift of calm when you are with the child.